Liquid Lunacy
by Red Witch
Summary: The gang plans to recover from Krieger's latest experiment by getting drunk.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Archer characters is out to lunch. Speaking of which, here's what happened after Liquid Lunch.**

 **Liquid Lunacy **

"So in other words," Mallory let out a sigh as she took a drink of scotch. "Sterling messed up another mission and we're not getting paid. **Again** …I don't know why I'm shocked. I shouldn't be shocked. But I am."

"Slater was never going to pay us in the first place," Lana fumed. "And Archer messed up the mission because he couldn't stop drooling over all those Veronica Deane billboards! That is why we are on a break!"

"Okay that I am **not** shocked about," Mallory rolled her eyes.

"Can you **believe** what he did?" Lana barked.

"I can't believe it took him **this long** to screw up," Mallory groaned. "Damn it! I lost a hundred bucks in the betting pool."

"You were betting on if Archer and I would break up?" Lana barked.

"No, we were betting on **when** you two would break up," Mallory pointed out. "It's was inevitable. As is my disappointment in Sterling."

"It's only until Archer comes to his senses," Lana growled. "And stops drooling after that old has been!"

"Don't hold your breath," Mallory grumbled. "I've been waiting **years** for that to happen! The coming to his senses part. Drooling over an old has been instead of a teenage bimbo is admittedly a new twist."

"By the way…Why is everyone in their underwear acting hung over?" Lana asked as she indicated the bullpen outside Mallory's office.

"When are those idiots **not** in their underwear acting hung over?" Mallory groaned. "Honestly it's getting to be a habit around here."

Meanwhile in the bullpen…

"Honestly this isn't exactly the first time we've all been brain blasted into doing weird shit we don't remember the next day," Pam admitted as they got dressed. "Let's face it, this is pretty much a regular occurrence around here."

"It's almost a weekly occurrence around here," Cheryl realized. "Kind of becoming a habit for us. A fun habit."

"I think I'm starting to get used to waking up without any memory of the day before," Cyril groaned as he put his clothes back on. "Or without pants."

"That's it," Pam said as she finished getting dressed. "I'm getting out of here before The Not So Amazing Krieger pulls another fast one on us."

"Where are you going?" Cyril asked.

"Guys it's two for Tuesdays at Pita Margarita's in LA!" Pam told them. "I'm gonna get hammered and forget this day ever happened. And maybe get laid by some guy or girl I don't know."

"Me too," Cheryl nodded. "I wanna be manipulated the old fashioned way. Alcohol and peer pressure!"

"So basically we're going to recover from one brain wiping, mind numbing humiliating experience by getting drunk and falling backward into **another** brain wiping, mind numbing humiliating experience," Cyril groaned as he put his jacket on. "Works for me…"

He paused for a moment. "It's official. I have a problem."

"Only **one**?" Pam snorted.

Cyril stopped and went to the computer. "Better take out this tape. I don't want anyone seeing this!" Cyril groaned. "Especially Archer! Or his mother…"

Meanwhile in Archer's office…

"Damn it, I owe Krieger a hundred bucks," Archer groaned as he watched the tape in his office with Ray. "And I have to go see his stupid play."

"Told you," Ray shrugged as he took a drink. "Should have gotten immunity like I did."

"I just hope it isn't as weird as his puppet shows," Archer groaned. "I say that knowing it will probably be worse."

"A lot worse," Ray added.

"I'm surprised you went in on this," Archer said. "I mean I get why you wanted to get back at Mother. Who wouldn't? But what about Carol, Pam and Cyril?"

"You mean Cheryl, who **stabbed** me?" Ray gave him a look. "And whose stupid killer plant ate my hand? Pam who cracked all those jokes about my stupid lost hand and Cyril…Well Cyril mostly because he's Cyril."

"Point made," Archer shrugged. "Just don't let my mother see this."

"Not planning to," Ray said. "I can't believe Krieger pulled it off."

"I can't believe it only took two sprits of that zombie drug," Archer grumbled. "I was sure it would have only taken three or more."

"I can't believe how calm you are that Krieger hypnotized your mother," Ray remarked.

"Honestly I could use the blackmail on her for something in the future," Archer smirked. "Seeing the other idiots act like idiots is just gravy."

"True," Ray nodded.

"And it's also good blackmail against you and Krieger," Archer admitted with a grin. "I mean now that I have a copy of this tape and if you don't want Mother to find out what you did to her…"

"Damn it," Ray groaned.

"I needed this," Archer grinned. "Kind of helps take the sting out of my breakup with Lana."

"BRAARRAAAAAAA!" Mallory was seen in her underwear acting like a bird of prey attacking Cyril.

"Wow, Cyril really is the world's worst falcon master," Ray remarked.

"Oh yes this really helps numb the pain," Archer grinned.


End file.
